Staying Patient

 

img_2495

Ever since December, I’ve had a string of random health incidents. I am trying so hard to stay patient right now but it’s almost uncanny how one health incident follows another. I’ve been praying about it a lot and asking God if I’ve done something wrong and that’s why this is happening. But He’s been putting it on my heart and showing me through that He wants me to mature in my faith. Particularly, He wants me to stay patient.

When did it all start?

cover3

In December, I went to Vegas to watch Michael Jackson One (it was amazing!). Stayed in Nobu and decided to eat at this place called Beijing No. 9 Noodle in Caesars Palace. My mom was in the mood for some Chinese food and the restaurant was just a few minutes from Nobu. As we walked in, I glanced at the floors and saw that the floors were really dirty. There were paper towels on the floor, forks, pens, someone’s missing grandmother from 1996. Albeit, we decided to stay although they were selling noodles at $20 a bowl. For $20 I got a bowl of decent jajiangmien and horrible, ratchet food poisoning.

In the hotel room a few hours later, I was bowled over in pain with a sharp pain in my stomach like an alien was stuck in my uterus and was trying to karate-kick its way out. I was sweating and the pain was so bad I almost fainted a few times.

 

The next morning, I was waiting in the airport lobby looking pale and tired as we waited for our flight home. That’s when I felt a peculiar itch on my face. I shrugged it off and continued to scratch it from time to time, remarking at how weird it was that this spot on my chin kept itching.

Fast forward to a few days later when that itch turned into horrible, crusty blisters. I thought it was a cold sore (although I’ve never had one before) and I usually put off going to the doctor way too much for my own good, so it got really, really bad.

My plans were to come home, spend time and hang out with friends, go to Christmas service at a new church my friend had told me about, and continue to volunteer.

NOPE. I stayed indoors for several weeks as the impetigo colonized my face. At one point, my mom looked at me and whimpered and said, “I don’t want to look!” I don’t blame her. I felt like the hunchback of Notre Dame and as much as I enjoy League of Legends, I’d rather be outside than stay home all day with a skin infection on my face playing ARAM.

Thankfully, some topical antibiotics coupled with some oral antibiotics settled that issue.

After coming back from China, my wisdom tooth got infected. When it got infected in 2015, I planned on removing it then but put it off. So then I had to get two of my wisdom teeth removed and the recovery was not pretty.

I spent a few days in bed and at one point projectile-vomited because the pain meds were making me queasy. However, my dentist said I was healing at record speed. Cause I stopped taking the pain meds, there was this constant throb where my wisdom teeth had been and I so missed eating solid food.

(The plus side was that my dentist gave me some free movie tickets! Can’t wait to go see the Boss Baby!)

A guy sent me a rejection text cancelling a date (car trouble, he said. The oldest excuse in the book!) and I remember reading it with half my face swollen like a balloon and thinking, “Meh.”

Just as my wisdom teeth were healing, one day I woke up in the middle of the night with an unbearable itchiness. The itching got worse and that’s when I realized I aggravated a skin condition I had with all the antibiotics I’ve been taking. It took about a few week for me to feel back to normal and when my skin didn’t itch every five minutes.

Then, right as my seb derm was getting better, I felt this sharp pain in my gums. I realized that I had gingivitis and it was really painful. I’m really particular about brushing my teeth but I always miss that spot for some reason so I’m not surprised it’s acting up. But the timing!

Now that my gum is healing, I feel somewhat normal but the tooth next to my sore gums is now starting to hurt.

So… this is where I’m at. It just seems so UNCANNY, doesn’t it? :/

I hope I didn’t sound whiny during this post but it’s just a lot of vent-up frustration. The good thing is that I haven’t started work yet and I’ve had the luxury of studying full-time for my CPA exams. The downside is that I’m taking FAR on Monday and don’t want to take it with a toothache, hahaha.

As I’ve been praying, I feel like this verse relates most to what I’m going through. I was sitting in bed feeling really ew about everything that’s happening and this verse came up on my random Bible verse app:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 

Then I received this verse in my email:

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. Romans 12:12 

It was easy to trust God when life was going well and everything was sunshine and rainbows. Even with the health things, I have a really simple life filled with an awesome family, great friends and a stable future job waiting for me. But it was easy to feel angry with Him and withdraw when things didn’t get so pretty (literally).

And this is really personal to share (duh), but I feel like God is challenging me to grow up and mature in my faith to the point where I trust in Him even when I don’t feel so great. Right now, I don’t know if I can really say I love Him without being able to come to Him even when random health things are happening.

Even though skin infections and gum disease are not pretty or fun, my dad told me that everyone gets these things. They just don’t talk about it. Seb derm, gingivitis, wisdom teeth infections and even impetigo are things that a lot of people have had before and they’re minor infections. I felt like an outcast for having these things but that was when it really clicked to me that everyone goes through things like this.

This experience helped me realize how human I really am and it disturbed me a little. But it also made other people feel more real to me if that makes sense. I’ve realized that people around me go through all sorts of things and they just don’t talk about it.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a pretty sheltered person and have had a pretty unconventional life so far. So it was easy for me to see the world in a certain way and to put it bluntly I didn’t have much empathy for people around me. Getting these random health things has created a new dimension in the way that I look at others in that the world isn’t so black-and-white anymore.

The biggest lesson now is learning that life might get interesting at times for me and I need to trust in God when trials happen. And the trials I face in the future just might be far bigger than random health things.

 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Staying Patient

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s