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Reaching For Righteousness

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So far, so good. It’s been a few days since I’ve finally started feeling normal again. By normal I mean less itchiness, swollenness or infections. I am very, very grateful that I feel normal (at least, for the most part). Apparently, the swollen gums from my last post were from a weakened immune system so I’m really glad I’ve been taking these probiotics lately. I really do feel a difference!

I’ve also had more time these days. Studying for the Audit section of the CPA exam has been chiller than studying for FAR. I study more efficiently now so I’ve been able to save more time and retain information better than when I first started. I’m on track with studying with time to spare.

Now hat I’m feeling better, I’ve noticed something important. I’ve realized that I’ve been staying at home quite often. Although I do take walks in the morning and play tennis sometimes, I feel like I should be doing more.

There are moments when I feel worried that I’m not doing enough or that I’m not challenging myself as much as I should. My track-record says somewhat differently. I’ve been able to mentor a lot of other students, profit from a hobby that I enjoy, get a job offer with a great firm, be super involved on campus and help make a change but now I’m floating in momentum.

It feels like the train’s come to a slow and steady stop.

That’s because I don’t start work until September and I put freelancing on hold so I could study full-time. Besides a few good friends, I haven’t really talked to anyone since graduating and I don’t plan to walk. In those moments of worry, I’ve been praying and asking God ways that I can really pursue a righteous life. Maybe not a fast-paced and exciting one – but at life that really pleases Him and where I can have the assurance again that I’m helping Him make a difference in the world in some way (even if it’s a small difference).

I asked God how I could pursue righteousness and I knew that this started with reading His word regularly again. And I felt Him lead me to the book of Acts. And what an experience that has been. I’m seeing all these ways that the early apostles and the early church served God, boldly preached His good news and gave to all who were in need. Although I’m not yet at the point where I can sell all my possessions to give to the poor, I want to serve God step-by-step more-and-more each moment of my life. I want to serve God and be proud of my faith and not be afraid to share it with others even if it risks me getting ridiculed or outcasted.

It seems that it’s best to start with smaller steps at first. So – I’ve decided to give going to church again another try. I’ve visited many churches in the past two years and have never really made a connection with any of them that made me want to stay. BUT I’m going to start trying again and see where that takes me. In the meantime, I’ll keep you all updated and please let me know if you have any tips for fellowship or anything church-related. I’d really appreciate it! 🙂

Pasadena International House of Prayer

I went to the Well at PiHop today. It was pretty awesome. It is a prophetic prayer ministry and I found out about it through two lovely friends at church!

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I went there two times in the past. The first time I went, I ended up crying because what they said really touched my heart. The second time I went, it was my very first semester being involved in a big student organization (over 700 members) that ended up changing my life! There, the people praying for me didn’t know anything about me except my name and the number on my sticker but one of them prayed that God was about to do something very exciting in my life.

She saw visions of me about to dive into a pool and said that He was going to open doors for me. Another added that she saw a vision of me behind red curtains and that the curtains were about to open. A few months later, I was holding three new board positions in this organization and then later went on to become even more involved to the point of actually helping choose people for those board positions. I also helped to introduce new measures and programs that really benefited people.

Even now, I’m completing my summer internship with PwC and it’s been quite an inspiring experience. Whatever God has in mind for me, I’m excited to do it and to follow His will.

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This time, I left feeling full of joy. My dear friend and I arrived early for our individual sessions. When the 8pm session started, a man came up to talk about some of PIHOP’s programs. However, before he started he said that he sensed God was showing him that there were a lot of people with strong faith in the audience tonight. He looked around and said brightly, “I feel strongly that whoever you are in the audience, God wants you to know that He’s going to give you what you want. He’s going to give you faith.”

This was important to me, more so than my individual session later on. I made a big mistake last week and one that got me obsessing over it a lot. I woke up thinking about it today and I went to sleep thinking about it last night. It’s a weird mistake that doesn’t feel ‘like’ me, but my friend said that if I did it, it IS me. And so, I’m facing this monster in my life right now called my tongue… and it’s been a rough battle to say the least.

However, this mistake, which we’ll call Balcony Gate, is definitely going to change my mindset on everything.

I feel like God was speaking to me in that moment and showing me that He would help me overcome this mistake. Things will be okay. I can only put my trust in Him and hope.

My prayer session was interesting. What stood out to me the most was what one of the prayers shared about how God isn’t evil or someone who enjoys testing me in weird ways. He’s my partner and He will give me the resources I need to achieve what He wants me to achieve. So that was really encouraging. I have a lot of plans in life but none of them mean anything if it doesn’t correlate with what He wants for me.

After PIHOP, my friend went to go get her essay done and I went to have some dinner with my mom at JJ’s Diner in Monterey Park. Gotta get that quality time! :]